The Attack of BakaRei!
by Symphony.In.The.Abyss
Summary: An unexpected bonk in the head sends Rei's brain flying! Through all of this it's still and A&S fic!
1. Chapter 1

Attack of the Baka-Rei!

**Chapter 1: That Bonk on Her Head really did it…**

Right after the tests, the machines started beeping.

Maya: It reads blood scan blue.

Misato: It's an angel! Launch evas 00, 01, and 02.

Maya: Roger.

Misato: Rei, are you up for a fight?

Rei: Hai.

Misato: Asuka, Shinji, back her up.

Both of them: Yes ma'am.

Rei took out the prog knife, and went straight for it. After Rei put the knife into the core Misato said: Wait Rei, don't!

Asuka: Too late.

Then just before the angel broke down, it bonked the eva unit 00 on the head.

BONK!

Shinji: Ouch.

Misato: Rei are you alright?

Rei: Yes I would like a chocolate donut.

Misato slaps her forehead and calls for an emergency crew.

hour later

Shinji: So what's wrong?

Asuka: Ya why did she want a donut, though I could use a donut.

Shinji: Maybe she was just hungry.

Misato: Hmmm… maybe we should go for donuts after then.

Dr. Akagi: Well, Misato, Shinji, and Asuka, we have some bad news, Rei, turned sigh stupid.

Shinji: What?

They all rushed inside and found Rei running in circles with a stick hanging out of her back with a string that has a chocolate donut on it.

Asuka: How did that happen?

Dr. Akagi: If you're talking about how she became stupid well, remember that bonk, yup that's why, if you're talking about the donut the string and the stick, well she was hungry and to test her intelligence, we did that, and well, you saw, we need you two to take care of her and we'll see how to restore her brain.

Misato: She can move in with us and sleep on the couch.

They all turned back and saw Rei on the bed where the donut was easier to obtain. They all sighed as they watched Rei happily eat her donut.

Shinji: How long are we gonna keep her?

Akagi: Just a week.

Asuka: This'll be a long week.

Shinji just nodded and they brought Rei home.

Misato's place

Asuka and Misato just watched as Rei ran. Shinji tried to concentrate while he cooked but got interrupted by Rei.

Rei: Watcha doin?

Shinji: Cooking dinner.

Rei: Your cooking din-din? Oh YAY!

Rei then turns around and grabs Asuka's arm and begins to push her towards Shinji.

Rei: You go help him, you're just sitting there.

Asuka: What about Misato-san?

Rei turned but found Misato pretending to be asleep, being the dimwit she was she said that she was sleeping. Asuka thought to herself _lucky._

While Asuka was helping Shinji, Rei just kept on pushing them together.

Rei: Is it done yet, is it?

Shinji: (Whispering to Asuka) She's even worse than when Misato gets drunk.

Asuka: I know.

Rei: (Behind them) I know.

Asuka: AHH! You scared me.

Rei: teehee!

(A/N: I know that Rei isn't supposed to have feelings but, hey she got bonked on the head, anything can happen!)

After they ate Rei was the first to stand up.

Rei: Wow that was great! You two make a great pair.

Then they both blushed.

Rei: Although I do prefer the donut I ate earlier.

After that they just watched Rei go up to the tv and tried to turn on the tv but unfortunately the remote control was flipped backwards.

Rei: BASTARDO!

Just then Pen-pen walked in and pressed the power button and watched the latest of Penguin March.

Rei: oh, thank you my little penguin friend.

Misato: His name is Pen-pen.

Rei: Oh… I prefer Penny, can I call him Penny?

Misato: Ask him.

So then Rei picks up Pen-pen or so called "Penny" and hugs him tightly and says: " Penny my little Penny! You'll be my bestest friend!

Just then Pen-pen quickly got away and escaped to the fridge. And Rei was again left alone to watch penguins march. For when she tried to change the channel she ended up messing with the volume. Just before she got bored, she spotted Shinji.

Rei: Hey Shinji! Want to go outside and play! You know at the arcade? You won't mind me taking him away, will you Asuka?

Asuka at the moment blushed but then thought to herself _I don't care for that stupid baka, bleh._

Rei: Ok then, bye Misato and Asuka!

But then Shinji noticed that they were heading for the balcony.

Shinji: Um Rei, we're going the wrong way.

Rei: Oh, sorry, off to the arcade!

The Arcade

Rei: Yay! One of most oldest yet classic game Pac-man!

Shinji: Rei, That's Tetris.

Rei: Oh, I didn't like pacman that much anyway.

…

Rei: Yay I win!

Shinji: Actually you didn't.

Rei: What? It says 'Good Job'.

Shinji: Actually it says 'Game Over'.

Rei: Aww.

Shinji: Can we go home?

Rei: Fine, why miss your girlfriend?

Shinji: It's not like that, I'm just bored.

Misato's House

Rei: Hey Shin-Shin! Want to go to the arcade again tomorrow?

Asuka: What the, Shin-Shin?

Rei: Yup, I gave him a nickname! You don't mind right?

Asuka turned away then said: Of course not, I already gave him one.

Rei: You mean Baka? Not much of a nickname. Does he have a nickname for you? I bet not. Right Shinji! What's my nickyname!

Shinji: You mean nickname.

Rei: Ya I know.

Shinji: Ok, Rei-Rei.

Rei then went and grabbed his arm.

Rei: Shin-Shin gonna be my bestest friend ever!

After that they just went to sleep. Asuka just hoped that Rei would go back to normal, so that she could have her Baka back.

the Next morning

Asuka woke up and took a shower, just then she heard the bathroom door open and saw a naked drowsy Shinji. She turned all red then…

SLAP!

Asuka: GET OUT YOU HENTAI BAKA!

Shinji then snapped out with a red face he saw Asuka but naked then ran out.

Shinji: Sorry sorry.

Rei: Hi shinji!

Shinji: Uhh hi, I got to go.

Rei : Oh and put a towel on.

Shinji turned all red and picked up his towel.

breakfast

Misato: Yum you've outdone yourself again Shinji!

Shinji: I didn't do it myself.

Rei: Ya me and Shin-Shin made it, right bestest buddy!

Asuka: grr….

Rei: Don't worry, he's still your boyfriend, I wouldn't take him away from you. You two look so cute together!

They both blushed then looked at each other.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two: She's Jealous**

school

Rei was clinging on to Shinji, and Touji and Kensuke stared in shock.

Touji: So she's your new girlfriend.

Rei: Nope, that red head girl is.

Shinji then blushed and Kensuke started laughing.

Rei: Shin-Shin here is my bestest buddy!

Just then, Shinji whispered to Touji and Kensuke: She bonked her head.

Both: Ohhhh.

Hikari: That Ayami is really attached to Shinji.

Asuka: Not really, she and him are best buddies. She bonked her head.

Hikari: Aren't you worried, When she returns to her normal state, he might like her more.

Asuka: Oh no, she'll steal away my Baka.

Hikari: So you do like him.

Asuka: Just don't mention this to anyone.

Hikari: Your secrets safe with me. So what must we do?

Asuka: We must pull them apart.

Hikari: And you have to show Shinji that you care.

Asuka: Ok so you go pull away Rei, then when he's alone I'll pop out.

Hikari: Excellent.

Park

Rei: I'll hide and you count.

While Shinji counted, Rei hid behind a leaf.

Noticing Rei, Hikari goes and asks her if she wants to go to the arcade hoping that she forgets about the game, luckily she said yes.

Seeing her chance Asuka goes to Shinji.

Asuka: Hey Shinji, I know were that sneaky Rei has gotten to.

Shinji: Sneaky? I don't think so, last time she hid behind a stick.

Asuka: Well, I saw Hikari with Rei and I think they're at the beach. Can I come with you please!

Shinji just couldn't resist and allowed her to go with him. So now they're off to the beach while Hikari is trying to help Rei learn the difference between Pac-man and Tetris.

Arcade

Rei raced around the arcade with Hikari's arm and showed her all the games she played with Shinji and unfortunately one game was called the washroom game, you would have to guess who is going to come out first.

Rei: But there is one arcade gum that we haven't tried, this dancing one!

Hikari: First of all that's an arcade GAME not gum and secondly, that's not the dancing game, that's once again Tetris.

Rei: Oh yeah, let's go to the real dancing game!

Hikari: Well, I don't think I want to daaan-

Rei cut her off and dragged her over to the dance game, but had to ask for directions. They spent most of their time there and went for ice cream after.

Hikari: (to herself) I wonder how Asuka andShinji are doing.

The Beach

Shinji: Ummm…. Asuka, I don't have a bathing short.

Asuka: Don't worry I came prepared.

At first Shinji stared at Asuka and wondered how did she know that he didn't have a bathing suite but then he thought that she would yell at him so he didn't even bother.

Asuka: Hurry up and change Baka!

Shinji: Ok Asuka.

About a minute later

Shinji was wearing red shorts, and Asuka was wearing the same striped bikini.

Asuka: You like?

Shinji: (Blushing) Ummm yeah.

Asuka: Thank you, now let's go find Rei, here are your goggles.

The Water

Shinji: I don't see Rei anywhere.

Asuka: Shinji! Shinji! Look! Back roll entry!

Shinji: Wow…

For most of the time, Asuka kept on drawing Shinji's attention. While Shinji looks for Rei underwater, Asuka passes him by and waves. Soon enough, Shinji forgot that he was looking for Rei and had a splash fight with Asuka.

They stayed at the beach for the whole day and at night, Shinji was just floating around. Then he just stopped to stare at the moon. But was still in the water. Just then Asuka grabbed his hand. His face turned red.

Asuka: I'm cold Shinji.

Shinji: I was, but now I feel warmer.

Asuka's face turned red and she just sat on his lap and hugged him. Then they looked into each others eyes and they kissed. But then after a minute, Shinji stopped it and turned red, he told Asuka that his shorts came off. So Asuka let go and Shinji desperately looked for his shorts while Asuka changed.

Misato's house

Rei: Hi you guys! Your pretty late, where did you go?

Shinji: Ummmm…. The beach, where did you go?

Asuka: Excuse me but I think I'll take a shower.

Rei: The arcade! I went with Hiccups!

Shinji: You mean Hikari?

Rei: Yup! Now where is, my little penguin friend.

Just then, Pen-pen hid away to his fridge.

Rei: I'll be going to sleep, good-night Shinji!

Shinji: Ya good-night.

So then Shinji was about to enter his room, but then Asuka asked him a question.

Asuka: Hey Shinji, wanna sleep with me?

Shinji: What?

Asuka: Not like that Baka! I mean like beside me.

Shinji: Well if you're ok with it then I am.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Welcome back Rei!**

School

Hikari: So did it work?

Asuka: It worked wonderfully; this pass week has been wonderful.

Hikari: Aww, how nice.

Touji: Hey Shin my man, what's with the goo-goo eyes over the red devil?

Kensuke: I know, he's in love.

Touji: That explains why. Did she put you on a spell for the pass week? And where did Rei go?

Shinji: NO, she did not put me under a spell, and well, this morning Rei saw a picture of the 3-D zombie from that poster we saw on our way here, and she ran home to hide under the bed.

In class

The teacher was just telling the class about the days before the second impact, just then the door opened, and there stood Rei in a box.

Chat room

It was just Touji, Kensuke, Rei and Shinji.

Shinji: Rei, why do you have a box over you?

Rei: its noot a bux, it's a peace of protectiv armor agenst the zombees.

Touji: That sure is some weird spelling.

Rei: Me weird, you guys have such coplitated riting!

Kensuke: That would be complicated.

Rei: …

Shinji: So how have you and Hikari been doing?

Rei: You mean while you and Asuka were 'out'.

Touji: What?

Hikari: What's wrong with that?

Touji: What the, how did you get in?

Hikari: It wasn't too hard but pretty long.

Asuka: I know why did you make it ToUjIiStHeGrEaTeSt?

Touji: Because it's true!

Kensuke: Hey Asuka! What have you done to our buddy Shinji!

Asuka: What do you mean?

Touji: What have you done to Shinji that made him follow you for the whole week!

Rei: its nurmul, they r boyfriend and gurlfrend.

Just then, everyone in the class gasped and looked at Shinji.

Rei: Oopsie.

Touji: That's it I'm changing my password!

Hikari: To what? TOUJIISTHEGREATEST?

Touji: Darn it.

Lunch

Shinji and Asuka are alone outside.

Shinji: I wish that Touji would choose not very obvious passwords.

Asuka: You said it. But did what Rei say in the chat room true? Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?

Shinji: I think so, that's of you're ok with it.

Asuka: I'm fine with it; you won't mind being called Baka right?

Shinji: Yeah, I don't mind I'll be your Baka, but let's hope that they'll get rid of Baka Rei.

Asuka: Yeah.

Nerv's Place

Dr. Akagi: Ok, we are ready to return Rei back to normal. Now Rei get out of that box and into the bubble.

Rei: Rightiyo!

Rei then steps into a bubble with a whole bunch of flashy lights and shiny things.

Dr. Akagi: Ok, then. Rei I need you to push the red shiny button and pull the blue, then red, then green doohickey, ok?

Asuka: (Whispering to Dr. Akagi) Why did you say doohickey?

Dr. Akagi: So she'll understand.

And Asuka replied with a simple nod.

Then the bubble lit up and then all this pink puffy smoke came out.

Shinji: Welcome back Rei!

Rei: Huh? When did I go Ikari?

Shinji: Never mind.

Misato: Now let's go

Maya: Angel approaching!

Asuka: Awww man!

Author's Note: I'm sorry that was short, but pls R&R! I'll be coming up with more stories! Signing out!


End file.
